I have had some really strong experiences of this in my life this week.
You may remember me recently posting about practising self-forgiveness for some big events that had happened in my life many years ago, rather than continuously and harshly blaming and criticising myself. As part of this I have practised being incredibly kind to myself. Gentle with myself. Deeply honouring myself and the impacts of those events on my life. ‘Being with’ the sadness when it arrives. And ‘being with’ the aliveness that follows.
And then, two people who had been involved in those events showed up in my life this week. Isn’t it amazing when that happens! And two things happened. One was I found my voice. I was able to look after myself. Hold my boundaries. Let them know that how they were speaking to me and treating me was not ok. And then the miracle occurred. In being kind to myself, in honouring myself, I experience a whole new capacity to feel genuine compassion for these two people.
I am guessing it finally felt safe, within myself, to fully see what was going on for them, because somewhere deep inside of me I knew that I would not abandon myself within that. I knew I could look after myself and hold my ground. Not people please. And when I stopped taking responsibility for, or allowing other people’s unacceptable behaviours, something shifted in them (or perhaps just in me) and I got to see behind their anger. I got to see and understand their fears and their hurts. Their humanness. When I can see and be kind to my own humanness, my own fragilities, my own imperfection I can then feel compassion for others humanness, fragilities and imperfections. And when that happens I change, my relationships change, my heart opens further. Today I feel deep gratitude for my capacity to open to life, to open to others, to live life so fully, to feel all there is to feel, to heal all there is to heal.
With great warmth Jo
