When I feel used or mistreated because I haven’t set or been clear about my boundaries then I’m often quick to set down boundaries from a place of frustration, even anger because I feel fed up.
I did it just the other day. I was feeling frustrated with a friend who often calls very early in the morning. Now I know this is one of the few times she has in her day to connect yet for me the early morning is ‘my time’. I fired off a text explaining this and said I wouldn’t be taking her calls during the week, only on weekends and not in the early morning!
For a few seconds it felt good to have created this boundary. Followed quickly by an overwhelming feeling of guilt. Then the realisation that I’d gone way too far and in fact this wasn’t at all what I wanted or was aligned with my commitment to our friendship. I made amends with her.
It was a good reminder that I need to practice compassionate self-awareness when setting my personal boundaries. Make these decisions during reflective times, times of introspection NOT in times of overheated emotion.
Can you relate?
With great warmth
Heather
