What makes you feel vulnerable?
Perhaps the biggest for me, is letting down my defenses and getting deeply honest, with myself and with those I love. And really letting those people see me in all my messy imperfections.
I have been doing a lot of it lately and I am not sure I have ever felt more vulnerable than I do at the moment. Although I am slowly starting to enjoy the feeling. And funnily enough feeling more loved. There is such a relief in dropping another layer of my defences, many of which I have found simply separate me from people – my judgment, money, work and busyness to name a few.
I sat with some one I love deeply today and said sorry for the hurt I had caused them in some of my unconscious judgments. I owned parts of myself that I didn’t really like seeing in myself, which had impacted our relationship. I was deeply vulnerable and very authentic. As were they. My friend Lisa had previously said to me “stories are an illusion, only the action of being authentic and vulnerable with another will lead to a deeper connection” and she was right. In and amongst our tears, our imperfections and our vulnerabilities we formed a deeper connection.
And what I became aware of is that my ability to be vulnerable is directly linked with my ability to trust myself and to have compassion for myself. It always seems to come back to the relationship I have with myself! And today I had the gift of witnessing the beauty that comes from being truly authentic.
With great warmth