I’ve known this voice of oppression in my life, this voice of perfectionism.
My perfectionist wouldn’t let me take risks. There was a time in my life when I really couldn’t do anything unless I knew I was going to do it not just well, but perfectly. This also meant I turned into a procrastinator extraordinaire! I knew that whatever the thing was I had to tackle it had to be perfect and so the anxiety would build up and often paralyse me and then it would build some more until the anxiety finally drove me to do whatever it was I was supposed to get done. It was a terrible way to live, I felt trapped as if I was walking around wearing a straightjacket. Perfectionism stole my joy, my curiosity, my spontaneity. Practising compassionate self-awareness has returned joy to my life, curiosity and risk-taking and I rarely procrastinate these days. I learnt that my perfectionism was a false shield used to avoid or minimise criticism, blame and ridicule. I was trying to keep myself from being hurt. My perfectionism was all about “what will people think?” It wasn’t about a healthy quest to be my best. How could I possibly even know what my authentic best was when I wasn’t allowed to move in that straightjacket. I kept myself from being truly seen. I could never do anything brave wearing that straightjacket of what will people think. Right now I’m doing one of the bravest things in my life I’m telling you about my ‘less than perfect’ self. In these posts I’m sharing my flaws and struggles and humanness. AND I’ve never felt more connected to this beautiful community we are creating, to myself and to life! Can you relate? With great warmth Heather
With great warmth Heather