Have you ever have one of those weeks where it just feels like everything that could kind of go wrong, does?!
I had one of those this week. A collection of setbacks and disappointments. I felt my anxiety go up, my sense of self felt a little wobbly, I had a few tears. I noticed that my habitual worrying wanted to kick in.
I have learnt that we all have an obsession with thinking, it’s one of those human being things that is wired into us. We actually all have what Dr Rick Hanson describes as a negativity bias. And I noticed mine this week. I noticed I wanted to focus on the ‘bad stuff’.
But the truly amazing thing is that while I definitely noticed it, I didn’t buy into it. I could have easily got caught up in the drama of all that unfolded this week, but I didn’t. If I sound surprised to you, that’s because I am.
Only a couple of years ago I would have got on the ‘worry wagon’ and made things much worse for myself and those around me. And as this quote so beautifully says ‘worrying won’t stop the bad stuff from happening’.
Instead I really looked after myself. I didn’t try to ignore the feelings of fear and disappointment, I acknowledged them and soothed them. I spoke to Heather and my partner and my friends and got some support while I talked about what I needed too.
I chose to trust that everything will work itself out. That my job was simply to slow down, take a lot of very deep breaths, ask for help, feel and honour my feelings and not react in haste. And focus on all the good things that are also in my life – taking my son for a surf, walking my dog in nature, having dinner with my partner, being there for a girlfriend who needed me, coaching my client who I deeply care for and respect and working with my incredible business partner, Heather, to see what solutions arise within us as we slow down and accept that life will always have it’s challenges.
It’s how I choose to look at those challenges that most impacts my life. No amount of worrying will ever stop the bad stuff from happening and I don’t want to rip myself off from focusing on and enjoying all the simple goodness that is in my life when I look for it.
And yes, some days, some weeks, I am better at this than others
How about you?
With great warmth